Backpacks and Burdens: Managing Back to School Emotions

Tis the season for a fresh pair of Jordans, crisp fades, new braids, and the heavily greased faces with forced smiles all over our timelines. Those expensive Sprayground backpacks are filled with more than the supplies from the mile long list that the school sends out every year. They also carry energy and a wide range of emotions from excitement, to hope, and sometimes anxiety. Rather the student is entering PreK or college, for many families the start of a new school year brings a quiet emotional weight that we don't discuss as much. Let's take a moment to unpack all the baggage that comes with a new school year and how we can better manage it this year.

As a therapist, I’ve noticed that there are things students carry with them that never show up on the school supply list. Alongside notebooks and pencils, many are quietly carrying social anxiety, the weight of academic pressure, identity struggles, fears of bullying. Family tension can sit heavily in their backpacks too, along with grief and trauma they may not even have the words to name. These unseen burdens are just as real as any schoolbook, and they deserve just as much attention and care.

Those large schoolbooks are actually light in comparison to the weight many students feel but they aren't the only ones carrying this baggage. Parents and even teachers are often carrying their own emotional loads at the beginning of the semester. In fact, 66% of parents say this season is one of the most stressful times of the year, with nearly 50% citing financial costs as a primary anxiety driver according to an article by PR Newswire. Beyond the financial stressors, there are other contributing factors as well, in a recent study nearly 1 in 3 parents reported feeling unprepared, anxious, or isolated, especially parents of neurodivergent children.

Just hearing all of this probably sounds stressful right? But take a moment and BREATHE, I got you!! Well, I don't have any money to help with the financial part, I do have some ways to identify the stress in your child, manage their stress and framework to help better understand and UNPACK all of this.

IDENTIFY

There are a few signs that your child is under emotional strain, it often shows up in ways that go beyond words. You might notice them becoming more withdrawn, spending less time with friends or family. Irritability can surface, with frequent mood swings or frustration over small things. Their sleep may be disrupted, or they may start experiencing unexplained physical complaints like headaches or stomach aches. In school, the stress can show as a sudden drop in grades or loss of motivation. These signs are often signals that something deeper is going on emotionally and deserve attention and care.

MANAGE

While we can’t protect our children from every challenge, we can create space for their emotions to breathe. One of the most powerful things you can do is normalize their nerves instead of brushing them off. Remind them that it’s okay to feel worried or overwhelmed sometimes. Create space for connection by starting daily check-ins with questions like, “What was the best part and the hardest part of your day?” This opens the door for honest conversations. You can also help kids put words to their feelings by gently naming what you notice, such as, “You seem frustrated, want to talk about it?” Finally, make sure grounding routines are in place: consistent sleep, regular meals, and quiet time all help create stability and reduce stress.

UNPACK

U – Understand what you’re carrying. Take time to recognize the emotional, mental, and physical loads you’ve been holding onto. Naming what’s in your “backpack” helps bring clarity and awareness.

N – Notice your triggers and stress signals. Pay attention to when your body tenses, your thoughts spiral, or your emotions feel overwhelming. These cues give you valuable insight into what needs your attention.

P – Prioritize what matters most right now. Everything can’t be carried or solved at once. Decide what deserves your focus in this season and give yourself permission to set the rest down.

A – Acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Your emotions are valid, whether they feel big or small. Rather than criticizing yourself, practice compassion and allow space for what you feel.

C – Create boundaries and supportive routines. Protect your peace by setting limits where needed, and build rhythms that sustain you—like rest, movement, or journaling.

K – Keep what serves you, let go of what doesn’t. Not everything belongs on your journey. Hold onto the lessons, habits, and connections that bring growth, and release the rest with intention.

UNPACK those burdens!

Whether you’re parenting, teaching, or just trying to keep it together while navigating this season, let this be your reminder: You’re allowed to slow down. Your child’s worth is not tied to their performance. You can rewrite the story of school stress, starting with emotional presence. You deserve gentleness, too. Backpacks may be full, but so is the opportunity to create a school year rooted in balance, awareness, and care. And remember it's ok to seek help from a therapist when you are ready to UNPACK that bag!

Pametria Brown, LCSW specializes in working with adolescent girls and AA women working through anxiety and trauma. She is also the founder of Black Therapists Matter Wellness Directory. Be sure to check out the website if you need a new therapist or would like to grab a tshirt.